4/4/08

Guidelines for Disarming a Woman

  1. When she cries or yells, let her. Speak tenderly to her with patience. She may try to attack you, but don't take it personally. It's more than the hormones talking. It's her sinful nature.
  2. When she tells you that she doesn't want to talk about it, just give her a minute. She desperately wants to talk about it.
  3. Don't laugh at her. Though the rapid changing of moods and the irrational thought that she is demonstrating may seem funny (and may be funny) it is not funny to her at that moment. Laughing will only make her more crazy. Later on, she may laugh at herself. When everything is back to normal, she may even laugh at something like this.
  4. Don't mock her. What she says or feels is legitimate to her, no matter how silly it seems to you at the time.
  5. Don't say, "Do you have PMS?" or "It must be your hormones." This will seem very sexist and insulting to her. It says that you're not taking her seriously.
  6. Never, I mean EVER, compare her to any other woman. Particularly, never to your mother or hers. If you say, "____ doesn't act this way," or "You're acting just like ____" she will never forget this. It will cause her great pain for a long time.
  7. If her emotional outburst comes over the phone, try to talk to her somewhere away from others. She is painfully aware that you may be among friends or coworkers. She doesn't want them to overhear how crazy she's acting. She will have a hard time talking to you when others are around.
  8. Affirm your love for her. She needs to know in an endless amount of words how wonderful you think she is.
  9. Don't walk away. Don't hang up the phone. If she does, follow her. Call her again.
  10. Offer to pray for her. This is the best way to turn rage into peace. When you offer to pray for her, do it. When she hears you speak to the Lord on her behalf, it will melt her heart.

Disclaimer: My husband is very good at melting my heart. He always has been.

2 comments:

aliosh said...

What beautiful advice! May God bless your marriage today and always.

Mum-me said...

I am going to email a link of this post to my husband. Who knows? He may take your advice. I hope.

Thanks for writing that - it helps us women understand ourselves a bit better too.