Just under eleven months now on the wedding countdown. It seems a little crazy. You all may have to tolerate me talking about it for a while. People tend to talk about what's important in their lives, and nothing (other than God Himself) is more important to me right now than preparing for our marriage.
The wedding will be fun, the honeymoon will be more fun, but nothing compares to the sense of joy and excitement I have just to be in the presence and care of my groom! As Kyle and I pray and prepare for our marriage, I have been so amazed in the growth God is working in both of us. I'm not sure what it looks like on the outside, but between Kyle and me, there have been some awesome developments. My favorite is seeing how God is growing Kyle into a better spiritual leader every day. I see more wisdom and knowledge in him. I see him taking on responsibilities, and handling them quite well. I feel both of us handling conflict and frustration in a more mature, patient, and rational manner. I feel myself learning how to be led. I notice myself wanting to turn to him more for guidance and help.
Every day I feel a greater sense of the "calling" God has given me. I feel this nurturing, devoted, protective, maternal sense rising. I believe that the calling God has put on my life is to be a wife and a mother. I think sometimes women try to fit those things into their schedules, rather than making them priorities. After school, I plan on staying home with our (future) children and working the Mary Kay business. Kevin asked me earlier why I wanted to go to college if these were my plans. I've had to answer that a lot. Usually, I explain that a college education is freedom in that I might never be stuck or helpless. I will always have that to fall back on. Though last night I was plagued in really answering and getting to the heart of that question I have heard so many times. Permit me, if you will, to have a little tangent here... I want to address a few ideas. The first is the priorities of women (even many Christian women), the second isn't quite as clear to me at this hour of the morning, but (I think) discusses stay-at-home moms and college educations.
God comes first, and Kyle second. Not my friends (sorry people, not that any of you are shocked by this statement!), not Mary Kay, and not school (haha). Everything I will do in my life will be for the glory of God and the benefit of Kyle. He will have no lack of anything good (Prov. 31:11) Our household will be before all else. Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to say that all women should quit their jobs and all their activities, and all be stay-at-home moms. I just think there are major issues in marriages when a woman puts her own agenda before the needs of her husband. We as women must say no to business that takes time away or causes us to neglect the affairs of our household.
Proverbs 31:10-31 is something I look to daily for wisdom and growth. It is a TALL order for all women. That woman is amazing! One of the things I have drawn most from it recently is that she sees that everything in her house is in order so that her husband and her family can take their respected places in the community. She is not worried about her own status (though she is well respected for her hard work and dignity). I doubt you'd ever hear her say to her husband, "You're not meeting my needs." She makes it her constant business to bring him good.
There are certainly women who do indeed need to find new jobs and quit at least some of their activities. (It is my opinion that if they feel the need to be involved in everything, they might be trying to make up for something missing at home.) I've prayed for God to change me and mold me that I might not put anything before my (future) household. I am seeing fruit from the Lord. I am beginning to find joy in things the world calls mundane and old-fashioned. It contradicts the world's opinions that I might be college educated and still find great in joy running the vacuum sweeper or cooking dinner (especially when it's for Kyle).
The world, including most of my family, feels that I am crazy because of this. Why bother getting an education when my greatest calling is to motherhood? An educated woman ought not to love housework; a wife who is submissive cannot possibly have a career. That is their idea, but not God's. I think my education will benefit my household in innumerable ways. First of all, the process of attaining an education is one that requires hard work and self-discipline. There are trying experiences in which we gain and learn perseverance, responsibility, and many other priceless experiences. The second is that my degree will be in communication. Most anyone will tell you that healthy communication is key to any relationship. I will have a whole degree focused on how to communicate better with everyone around me! I find it an incredible blessing that God would choose that for me. If that isn't a major that will benefit my family, I don't know what is.
However, I will find my greatest sense of fulfillment in submitting myself to Kyle in marriage. Why is this idea of submission so stifling to many? In Christ, we submit our will. That is an accepted idea. For those who are in Christ, each of us has been given a calling. I have been given the calling of marriage. My highest sense of fulfillment will be found in obedience to that calling.
Many of you know that Elisabeth Elliot (wife of the late Jim Elliot) is my favorite author. My favorite quote of hers in her book Let Me Be a Woman is, "We are called to be women. The fact that I am woman does not make me a different kind of Christian, but the fact that I am Christian does make me a different kind of woman. For I have accepted God's idea of me, and my whole life is an offering back to Him of all that I am, and all that He wants me to be." What does God want me to be? Like that selfless Proverbs 31 woman? Certainly, but mostly like His Son in that I would die to my desires and do all things for His glory and live with the *full acceptance* and knowledge of Christ (1 Tim 1:15).
Well, that's my little tangent that went way deeper than I expected, but also included so much of what's in my heart right now. I am anxious and excited to discuss these ideas! Feedback would be good... or maybe an AMEN! (Joanna? Anyone?) I welcome correction and further teaching a
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