I biffed it. Twice.

For those of you not from central Illinois, to "biff" it means to fall down in the most embarrassing way possible, to bite it, to take a very bad spill, etc. This word was at one time a mystery to my husband. Today, I biffed it twice. The first time was on the wet, glassy service called my driveway. My neighbor was having a hard time backing her truck out so I went over to help her push. Our final heave did the trick, but knocked us both down. We both slid under the truck while it was rolling forward. A very scary moment, but we are both okay.
The second time I biffed it was on the way to my last class. I stepped onto what looked like crunchy snow to avoid a massive puddle. The crunchy snow turned out to be glassy ice. I went down spread eagle, belly down, face in the ice, like a five point star. This was witnessed by no less than 50 people outside Lawson Hall. SIU has done a horrible job of clearing sidewalks and parking lots. Many letters to the editor poured into the Daily Egyptian from furious students who've had to brave campus pathways.
Until all the ice melts, be careful out there and don't biff it.