Suspicions confirmed. We're infertile.

"You guys definitely have infertility." The words hit me upside the head. In my heart, I already knew it was true, but some part of me was still holding out hope that our timing had just been off... off for over two years.

My initial reaction was to giggle when the doctor left the room. It was wildly unfitting and inappropriate. I kept looking at Kyle and repeating the words, "We're infertile... hahaha... We're barren... hahaha." It wasn't until we left the office that the full emotional weight of the diagnosis hit me.

I've seen other doctors in the past who suspected this, but no one ever confirmed it with tests and a proper thorough look at all of my symptoms. According to my physician, I'm a "classic case" of Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). Basically, my ovaries don't produce eggs as they should.

Now, it's not completely hopeless. There are medications and treatments we can try to increase our chances of conception. We're just very cautious about which treatments we are willing to use. Also, we're very confused about God's timing in all of this.

We still feel very strongly that we are both supposed to start graduate programs next year, but waiting to try and conceive is only going to hurt our chances. Older is not better when you're facing infertility. Do we keep trying and have babies while we're students? While not impossible, that would be very difficult. Do we put graduate school on hold until we've exhausted all our conception options? There's a chance that, even with treatment, it may never happen. We both want to adopt someday in the future, but we'd also like to try to make a baby.

We would highly covet your prayers through all of this. We know that Christ is sovereign over everything, even my malfunctioning ovaries.