Week 1

I'm doing Weight Watchers.  Yeah, it's time for me to get in shape again and I've failed on my own more times than I can count.  My mom and I are doing it together and we are both super pumped!  I'm hesitant to write about it because it's such a vulnerable spot for me and has been for much of my life.  I guess my thought was that if I don't write about it, people won't know that I need to lose weight, that I'm out of shape and unhealthy.  Well, I realized that someone could just take one look at me and know that, so why not write about what I'm going through?  Hopefully it will motivate someone else.

Here's a picture of us the week before beginning looking nice and chubby.



For the first week, the leaders at WW gave us a little assignment to write down ten things we've learned.  I didn't think I would be able to come up with ten because I thought I already knew it all.  I've been telling myself that I know how to eat healthy and exercise, but I just need accountability.  Well,  I was wrong!  So here are just a few of the things I've learned in week 1.

1. Portions.  When I cook at home, I tend to cook pretty simple, relatively healthy meals.  They usually consist of some kind of meat, some kind of starchy side like a potato, rice, or pasta, and a vegetable.  Starting WW hasn't drastically changed the way I cook, but it has made me realize that the portions I've been giving myself are WAY too big.  For example, I've always made spaghetti with lean ground beef and whole grain pasta, but the serving I gave myself was probably four times too big, and I often returned for seconds.  This week I made it the same way, but scooped out a 1/4 C of pasta with a 1/2 cup of meat sauce.  I didn't make garlic bread, but salad and fruit instead.
2. Blinders off.   Wednesday night we used our Applebee's gift card.  This seemed like a good choice since I knew they had WW options on their menu.  I was disappointed to find that they only had a few items with the WW label, but after looking at the nutrition facts and calculating the points I discovered I could eat a small steak and half a baked potato for less than some of the WW items.  After I decided what to order, I looked up the points for other menu items that I used to order and I was shocked.  My favorite chicken tenders were worth almost a full day's points!  This was hard to take, but I was glad to know the truth.   It definitely motivated me to learn about what I eat before I put it in my mouth.
3. Balance.  Friday night we joined friends from our church at Mojo Tapas by our house.  Kyle and I had walked by it many times on our way to The Gelateria, and always wanted to try it.  We really liked the atmosphere and the tapas were so good!  I had a very low-point day leading up to our night out and I did my daily shred with Jillian, so I didn't feel so bad ordering just what I wanted.  We split crab empanadas and calamari.  I skipped the table bread, which was difficult, but Kyle said it wasn't that good anyway.  The next morning, to my great surprise, I had still lost weight!
4. Small goals.  I have a fair amount of weight I want/need to lose, so when I try to think about that big number, I get a bit overwhelmed with grief and remorse that I've let myself get this far out of shape.  However, if I think in terms of 5 pounds, or even 5%, I feel much more able to accomplish my goal.
5. Motivations.  I have to be honest with myself about my motivations.  I have many.  They range from wanting to honor God with how I take care of my body, wanting to be healthier, wanting to increase our chances of fertility, wanting to just feel better, all the way down to wanting to look better in clothes, and to not be the "fat Bass wife" (if you knew how beautiful my sisters-in-law are, you'd understand).  Now, I know that items 1, 2, and 3 really ought to drive me more than anything, but all I have to do is take a walk around the mall and look at the clothes I want to wear, and all of the sudden I am back on track.  It's silly.  It's frivolous.  It's really superficial, but it's the truth.  

I'm going to install a little tracker of some sort on the side of my blog so you all can stay in the loop about where I am in the process.  I'm hoping to reach my goal by the end of June.  I'll try to remember to update it weekly, but once I start back to school next week, I'm not making any promises.  Thanks for any encouragement or prayers you might have on my behalf.  If you just want to snoop, that's cool too.  I would!

Holiday Rundown

I'd originally titled this post "Christmas: The Breakdown," but decided that carried the risk of it sounding like I had a bad Christmas, and that is FAR from the truth.

We spent Christmas Eve at my mom's house where we had a huge dinner and played games.  It was a night that I would call... eventful.  I'll just leave it at that!

Christmas day my mom's family has the tradition of volunteering at the Salvation Army and bringing dinner to the residents there.

Grandpa, Kyle, and Noah setting up the salad table

Noah loving on Granny in the kitchen

We helped with that then grabbed Watson and took him to my dad's house.  After hanging out there for a couple hours we went to my cousin Dustin's house where my dad's family was gathered.  We not only celebrated Christmas, but my great-grandma Jennie's 94th birthday.

My dad and me



Dad and Great Grandma



Our plans to travel to Pennsylvania to visit Kent and Hope fell through.  This was very sad, but a very agreeable alternative awaited us in Chicagoland.  We spent New Year's with the whole of Kyle's mom's side of the family and celebrated Christmas, New Year's, and Aunt Stacy and Uncle Toby's going away to Italy where they will be stationed for the next three years.  It was a grand old time except that Watson was bad, Mama Bass was very sick, and Kent and Hope were absent.

Kyle and his phone



Cousin Scott napping with Sassy

Having Christmas with Nancy in the hallway outside her room because she didn't want to expose us to her germs

Aunt Denise and Uncle Mark

Cousin Max accidentally gave Aunt Laura a fat lip.

Toby, Moury, Mark T., and Mark B.


Aunt Denise's pretty house

Hope you had a fantastic holiday season and that the new year is treating you well so far!

Happy Momma

This is my mom.

Isn't she so pretty?  She doesn't even wear much makeup or dye her hair.  She's just naturally lovely.

I am so thankful for her! She came down to see me last weekend and we went to the Christmas Festival in St. Charles, MO. Then we went to see Mannheim Steamroller at The Fabulous Fox Theatre. The festival was great, and The Fox was fabulous, but Mannheim was a little bit of a let-down. We had fun, as usual, though, and I loved seeing my momma laugh and smile.

One Year

Inspired by a blog friend, I decided it would be beneficial (for myself) to break down our year.

January:  We spent New Year's Eve at the Corson's house, and made brisket for friends on New Year's day.  I continued to nanny for the Horst chil'ins.  I began my last semester at SIU.  We completed our applications to law school and grad school.  The waiting game began.

February: We celebrated my birthday and Valentine's Day (or Birthentine's, if you're nasty) by going to St. Louis for the weekend.  We stayed at the Cheshire Lodge, had a date at The Fountain on Locust with our newish friends, Josh and Kim, visited the art museum, and discovered Gioia's Deli.  I spent the month wondering where in the heck God was going to send us or if we would stay in Carbondale for a few more years.

March: I spent the first half of the month anxiously awaiting news from graduate schools.  I started feeling like we weren't going to be staying in Carbondale and treasuring our time there.  Over Spring Break, I got my first acceptance, and it was to SLU!  I was at my grandma and grandpa's house when I got the email on my phone.  We all screamed and smiled and cried and jumped around the kitchen.  It was a really special moment.

April:  After three acceptances and two rejections for me, we were feeling like St. Louis was the place God was calling us, though all the details weren't exactly in place yet.  Kyle still hadn't heard from SLU Law (and a few other schools), but planned on just getting a job in the STL area and re-applying because we were so sure we were supposed to be there.  We had a marathon day of apartment searching, signed a lease, and the next week Kyle got his acceptance to SLU.  Crazy lessons about stepping out in faith were learned.

(I took not a single picture in the month of April.)

May: A month of celebrations and new beginnings.  Had a great celebratory night with classmates meowing around Carondale.  Graduated and moved to St. Louis on the same day with the help of many friends and family.  Started attending August Gate, where we knew we should go even though we'd never set foot in the doors.  Started graduate school at the end of the month, and began a painful summer of living away from Kyle while he finished up his job in So Ill.


June: A haze of school and loneliness and driving back and forth between STL and So Ill.  Oh, and threw a bridal shower for my soon-to-be sister-in-law, Hope.

July: A haze of school and loneliness and driving back and forth between STL and So Ill.  Oh, and threw a bridal shower for my dear friend, Ellen.  Then we both stood up with her and Bradley at the end of the month at their wedding.  It was our last hurrah in Carbondale.  Saying goodbye at the end of their reception left many of us in tears.

August: Kyle came home to Saint Louis for good!  We celebrated the end of a long, hard, lonely summer.  We got a puppy!  Celebrated 4 years of marriage.  When we first began praying about going on with school together, we just prayed we'd be in the same city.  God went further.  He put us in the same city, at the same school, and our buildings right next door to one another.  Unbelievable goodness and grace. No accident there!

September:  Traveled to Virginia to celebrate the wedding of our brother and sister, Kent and Hope.  It was fun to travel with family, and even more fun to gain a sister in the Bass family.  Went to school.


October: Really started making better friends at church and at school.  Praise God.  The summer was so lonely, even though friends at church reached out to me, I definitely was not myself then.  October finally clicked and I started feeling more like me.  School started getting harder on us, and it became very clear that our dog was really, really bad.  We knew he was our "Marley."  We hosted a Halloween party that seemed like a pretty big success, but we forgot to take pictures.


November: A haze of school and puppy-wrangling.  In John Mayer-fashion, I wonder if I am going to make it through to December.  I got to travel to Philadelphia for my first ASHA convention with classmates and faculty.  Spent Thanksgiving with Kyle's family in Anna.  Got to celebrate with Keith and Loni the night of their engagement.


December:  Completed our semesters by the grace of Jesus.  When the semester ended, we mostly spent our days at home wrangling our bad, bad dog, cooking, watching all the TV we missed during the semester, and enjoying each others' company.  Christmas in Springfield with my family.  As things slow down, the pain of infertility creeps back in as it always does when I'm not insanely busy.  As always, I'm ready for a new year and thankful for a God who is faithful and isn't done with us yet.

Chocolate Pie

I've always been a fan of French Silk pies from Perkins and Baker's Square, but I must say that this recipe for chocolate pie is as good as any I've had from a restaurant.  You simply must try it.  I promise it isn't that difficult.

Start with a pie crust of your choice.  I used my Grandma Johnson's crust recipe because I am personally conflicted about using a frozen crust.  You would be, too, if you had her crust.  I won't judge you, though.  Using a frozen crust would make things a whole lot easier, it's just that once you get that perfect homemade crust, it ruins you.

Now, this is where my trouble began... I 've never pre-baked a crust from scratch.  I feel like I must be missing some secret step because this is what happened to my beautiful, perfect crust.  It got bubbly and fell in on itself.  Is there some secret to pre-baking a crust?  In the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter because it tasted wonderful, and when the pie is complete you cannot teven see the lumpy crust.  As Julia says, make no apologies, no excuses!  It doesn't have to be perfect.



After you've pre-baked your crust, get ready to do some mixin'!  If you have a stand mixer, go kiss the feet of whomever purchased it for you.  Unless you purchased it for yourself... I wouldn't want you to strain anything... You start with mixing the butter and sugar, and then add in the chocolate and vanilla. (Use Watkins vanilla if you know what's good for you. We call it Liquid Crack in the Bass abode.)



Now, this is when the mixing gets really crazy.  You add in one egg every 5 minutes for 20 minutes (that's four eggs).  Be patient.  It's worth it to get that perfectly whipped texture.  If you have a stand mixer, just throw an egg in and forget about it for 5 minutes.  You can use that time to do your foot-kissing.

When it's whipped into submission, smooth it into the pie crust and chill it in the fridge for at least 2 hours.

I chilled it for about 5 hours.



I was feeling sassy, so I added some Cool Whip and made some chocolate curls for the topping.



Try not to lick the plate when you're done.  If you must, at least wait until no one can see you.  Not that I would know anything about that...